“I think we often get so caught up in doing the things of the Lord and doing the works of God that we forget to spend time in His presence.”
This simple line from a 20 second conversation really got me thinking.
The last 10 months my squad-mates and I have been actively engaging with God’s Kingdom all over the world. As you all know, we have been partnering with churches and ministries all over Central and South America and now in Southern Africa. We have been doing a variety of work: evangalism, construction, food distribution, leading bible studies, and on and on and on.
Throughout all of it, I have felt the presence of God during certain times of active ministry. I felt the tangible security offered by the Holy Spirit while night witnessing on the streets of San Jose. I have felt the love that only can come from God during a women’s event in Honduras. And I have felt His presence during countless church services and worship nights.
All of these are good and great things….in moderation.
Something that was recently brought up in a conversation was that the World Race pushes you to the edge without pushing you over. It pushes you outside of your comfort zone in every way imaginable and it forces you to really reflect.
One of those areas for me, is being in God’s presence.
Throughout this race one of the things that have been exposed in my life is that I am a runner. There has been so much growth these past several months in this area, but my immediate reaction is to run away. I run from hard conversations. I run from relationships if I think there is any way I could possibly get hurt. And for most of my life I have been running from God.
I grew up in the church, but I was really good at living this double life. I was always at youth group and small groups, but then on the weekends I was an incredible sinner. My words and my actions didn’t line up with what I was professing on Sunday mornings or Wednesday nights.
This two faced life I was living in made me feel like I had some sense of control. It made me feel like I knew what was best for me and I didn’t need anyone else to tell me differently, especially God.
In college, I began running even faster away from Him.
I didn’t want to face things from my past, I enjoyed to life I was living, and I didn’t want to sit with Him and rest in His presence for fear of what I might have to change. I still went to church on Sundays and life group on Tuesdays, but Friday and Saturday I didn’t want to be seen by anyone who was in either of those circles.
Eventually, during my senior year of college the partying and the double life I had been living since high school got old. It used to leave me fulfilled and desiring more fun. But it all started to leave me even more empty than I was before and I began to realize that this wasn’t the life I wanted to live or the person I wanted to be.
Fast forward to the World Race. When I got to training camp people starting talking about this thing they called “resting in His presence” and the runner in me said “uh absolutely not.” They started talking about how their soul felt rejuvenated and full of life after they would do this resting thing. Now that intrigued me. My soul was tired and was craving rest. But I didn’t know how to get that rest because all I had ever know was that Christians were to read their Bibles, got to church on Sundays, and worked to do good things for others because that is what looks good to God.
Friend, I am here today to tell you that that is a very twisted lie that Satan himself has ingrained into the Western Church. Being a Christian isn’t about what you can do to make God happy, but it is about allowing God to move in and through your life. It isn’t about coming to the Lord with all of your ducks in a row, but instead coming to Him when you’re not even sure where your ducks are. Yes God desires for us to read the Word that He inspired, but He also desires that we would come and sit in His presence. He longs for our soul to long for Him. He doesn’t need us, but He wants us. He wants all of you. Every Sunday morning but also every Friday night. He wants you to call out to Him in your joy and in your suffering.
And I think this gets missed…a lot. I know I missed it throughout my life and continue to miss it even here on the Race. But I am starting to come to the realization that God just wants us to be with Him. Yes, He calls us to also feed the hungry and care for the orphans and the widows. But we can’t do any of that if we aren’t first filled up by Him. We can be doing all of these great things but maybe we aren’t even where the Lord wants us to be. Maybe He has called you into something else, but how will you know if you don’t put aside all distractions and ask Him AND believe that He will respond to you.
Over the last several months, I have stopped sprinting away from God. Sure at times I still find myself wanting to do a slow jog away from Him but the frequency of that is lessoning. And now, instead of running to things of the world, I find myself running to Him. Not things of Him, but God Himself. Yes, there are days that are more difficult than others. And often times I still find myself running to things of Him, but the only time I am truly satisfied, is when I have taken a step back from whatever I am doing, and make time to rest in His presence.
This is first and foremost a reminder to me; that I cannot get so caught up in doing ministry and doing the works of God that I forget to sit and REST in God’s presence. This is also my encouragement to you today to join me in this.
We make time for the things that are important to us.
What do you make time for in your life? What gets pushed to that side because you are too busy?
That is truth, Kayla. Many believe accepting Christ is the end and it is really the beginning! The beginning of knowing God not knowing about Him. Pressing into loving others like Jesus does. Hearing Him not just giving Him our wish list. So joyful to hear of your journey and excitement about where God is moving in you! Love you! Leaning in with you!
Oh My Sweet Kayla! This is IT! The Lord has given you such an important revelation! This can’t be taught, it has to be caught. Holy Spirit is such a beautiful teacher and you have received all the things He’s showing you. Rest in Him! We love you so much! Can’t wait to see you in Gainesville.
Thank you for these wise words. I am a runner. I need to be faithful about pushing away all of my distractions and be intentional about resting in his presence. I am busy with being busy. Much gets pushed aside . I need to stop. I need to listen. I need to rest in Him. My favorite “devotions” are your writings. Love you, baby girl. See you soon!
Kayla, love your writings. Your growth in the Lord inspires growth in me also. I try not to be a runner, but always a work in progress.
Oh my! Girl you have and are struggling with the wooing of God. What we take as “our’ freedom fights in us at every turn when we even near God’s presence. Jesus struggled with His flesh and only by seeking REGULARY God’s presence could he minister to those about him. HE understands – praise God! Give seminary serious consideration as you make this transition in service to God.
Very wise words. I am good at running but not so much at being still and listening! May all of you be safe while sharing God’s word and peace with others.