I had an abusive earthly father. I say had because he hasn’t been in the picture for over half of my life. 

This abuse and absence used to be a part of my identity. It was something that I carried around, sometimes consciously and other times subconsciously. It actually was something that I carried with me to the mountains of Honduras and didn’t even know it. The Lord met me on that mountain in Honduras like never before.  I wasn’t expecting brokenness to come so early on in this journey.

But I’m glad it came when it did. 

These past two months in Honduras I have seen God show up like I never have before and have felt the Holy Spirit move through me like nothing I’ve ever experienced. 

Throughout all of this time, God showed me the lies about my identity that I have been believing for so long. Most of these lies I have been believing since childhood and relate back to the abuse and abandonment. I have been walking in this and acting from this identity that isn’t me; it isn’t who God has called me to be and it isn’t who God says I am.

Now you might be thinking “but Kayla didn’t you grow up in the church? Haven’t you heard these truths spoken over you by family and friends?” And to answer your question, yes. I had heard all of these truths before but until recently, it was just head knowledge. I knew what was true in my head but I didn’t believe it with my heart.  There has been many scriptures that I have been meditating over, many prayers have been said, and lots of sitting in the presence of the Lord has revealed my TRUE identity in HIM. 

I am: 

Loved (Psalm 127:2)

Cherished 

God’s Masterpiece (Ephesians 1:7)

Free (Romans 6:6)

Known (Jeremiah 1:5)

Chosen (John 15:16)

Confident (Colossians 4:12)

Christ’s image-barer (Genesis 1:27) 

Bold

Righteous and Holy (Ephesians 4:24) 

Forgiven (Luke 6:37)

Bought with a price 

Child of God (Mathew 5:9, John 1:9) 

This is a list that I hope to continue to add to for the rest of my life. I believe that the more I step into my identity in Him, the more He will reveal to me. Because, no matter how good or bad our earthly fathers are, our Heavenly Father wants nothing but goodness for us. He wants to give us life and have us walk in true freedom. He cares for us and loves us unconditionally. All we have to do is take our walls down and fall into Him. He will be there to catch us and protect us. 

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.” 2 Samuel 22: 2-3

Signed, 

Daughter of the One True King