I had an abusive earthly father. I say had because he hasn’t been in the picture for over half of my life.
This abuse and absence used to be a part of my identity. It was something that I carried around, sometimes consciously and other times subconsciously. It actually was something that I carried with me to the mountains of Honduras and didn’t even know it. The Lord met me on that mountain in Honduras like never before. I wasn’t expecting brokenness to come so early on in this journey.
But I’m glad it came when it did.
These past two months in Honduras I have seen God show up like I never have before and have felt the Holy Spirit move through me like nothing I’ve ever experienced.
Throughout all of this time, God showed me the lies about my identity that I have been believing for so long. Most of these lies I have been believing since childhood and relate back to the abuse and abandonment. I have been walking in this and acting from this identity that isn’t me; it isn’t who God has called me to be and it isn’t who God says I am.
Now you might be thinking “but Kayla didn’t you grow up in the church? Haven’t you heard these truths spoken over you by family and friends?” And to answer your question, yes. I had heard all of these truths before but until recently, it was just head knowledge. I knew what was true in my head but I didn’t believe it with my heart. There has been many scriptures that I have been meditating over, many prayers have been said, and lots of sitting in the presence of the Lord has revealed my TRUE identity in HIM.
I am:
Loved (Psalm 127:2)
Cherished
God’s Masterpiece (Ephesians 1:7)
Free (Romans 6:6)
Known (Jeremiah 1:5)
Chosen (John 15:16)
Confident (Colossians 4:12)
Christ’s image-barer (Genesis 1:27)
Bold
Righteous and Holy (Ephesians 4:24)
Forgiven (Luke 6:37)
Bought with a price
Child of God (Mathew 5:9, John 1:9)
This is a list that I hope to continue to add to for the rest of my life. I believe that the more I step into my identity in Him, the more He will reveal to me. Because, no matter how good or bad our earthly fathers are, our Heavenly Father wants nothing but goodness for us. He wants to give us life and have us walk in true freedom. He cares for us and loves us unconditionally. All we have to do is take our walls down and fall into Him. He will be there to catch us and protect us.
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety. He is my refuge, my savior, the one who saves me from violence.” 2 Samuel 22: 2-3
Signed,
Daughter of the One True King
True discipleship is living intrinsically not extrinsically. Jesus condemn’s the extrinsic righteousness when it doesn’t flow from an authentic relationship with God. Too many times our “churchiness” exudes this behavior. As long as we look busy and look like we are doing “churchy” things then the Lords favor will be upon us… how naive so many of us are in the Lord. We may be able to hide from our peers our faults in our internal righteousness… but the Lord will always see our heart. There is a difference in a head filled with knowledge about God and a heart full with knowledge of God. We live in a world when you ask 100 people “what needs to change” there would be 90 different answers and those people would blame 89 different people. When, what actually needs to change is our heart… We all need to live out the Jesus Creed-as you and your group is- Love the Lord your God with all your heart, your mind, your soul and your strength; and to Love your neighbor as yourself… just as you currently are.
A hospital is full of sick people who know they are sick; a church is full of sick people who think that only those around them are sick…
Kayla, you are a true inspiration… keep letting yourself say yes to the Lord… know that God wouldn’t have put you through the abandonment you felt in your childhood if he didn’t have a purpose for it… you are just now realizing the purpose… Love ya and remember it ain’t always sunshine and roses so “embrace the suck”!
Kayla, I love hearing you share your testimony. I’ve seen you your whole life, and the progression of you as you’ve grown physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I continue to pray for your growth in your relationship with your true Father. And I’m inspired by you to focus even more on my relationship with Him as well. Keep praying, reading His words, and sharing the truth with the world. You have been blessed to be chosen for this in this time. Love you!
From the beginning, Your Heavenly Father has set so many wonderful expectations for you. Along the way, he has always provided examples of how to live up to those expectations.
Your Heavenly Father has been with you every step of the way, holding your hand and cheering you on at every important event in your life; always showing you love and affection, as you are so deserving of.
Your Heavenly Father has and will remain steadfast, today, tomorrow and forever in to eternity.
Always know that your Heavenly Father firmly has his arms around you, always extending his hand to you as he leads you in HIS wonderfully orchestrated plan !
Don’t ever forget that God, The Father, will always provide you with Security,
A Guard of Armor, Guidance, Support and Unconditional love !
YOU are ENOUGH!
YOU are LOVED!
YOU get to write your own story, baby girl!
I am excited and honored to watch this story play out!
I love you, sis!